Body Image

“That shirt doesn’t fit you. You need to lose weight.”

I was all of 24yo and about 105lbs. “You need to lose weight” as my elder, a woman that I held in high esteem chuckled and pointed out the small roll I had from the top of my pants being a little too snug and the bottom of my black, fitted shirt rolling up after church one Sunday. I was mortified and immediately deflated when she said this in front of my friends. What she didn’t know was that morning I debated on changing the shirt because it fit weird but I ran out of time and just made a conscious effort to remember to remain aware of the flaw so that I could fix it if it happened while out. I forgot once the services were over.

I was fat. 105 lbs and I now saw myself as overweight and unattractive.

I thought I was safe.

Safe to relax around those I loved. “You need to lose weight,” those words stuck with me and for years and I bought clothes that were too big in fear of my body being seen. No dresses. No fitted tops. I was fat. 105lbs and I now saw myself as overweight and unattractive.

I’m 38 and that wound is finally almost healed. I wear dresses and fitted shirts now but not without thoroughly scanning my body every morning and night, fighting the urge to scrutinize every lump, crease and roll I may see. It seriously makes it that much more difficult at times after having kids have changed your body.

The fight has become easier to believe I’m beautiful and that there’s nothing wrong with my shape. I encourage myself and speak life over the lie that took hold of me years ago in hopes that one day it will be completely healed.

We all struggle with comments that people have said to us not realizing the weight they carried. Know that you can take back what their comments stole from you. Take back your confidence and be proud of your shape. Whether you’re tall, short, slender or curvaceous, YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Accept it. Embrace it and walk confidently in your skin.